2015: In Review

"It was the best of times. It was the worst of times." ~Dickens

I set out to write this blog in an attempt to recall my memories throughout the year and get them down as a record of sorts, to look back on. In an ideal world, I would do this throughout the year, and more specific chunks of time would be recorded and kept fresh. That didn't happen this year. 

To tell the truth, I'm having a hard time remembering anything that happened beyond this last month. I had to look back at Facebook to recall anything. I saw everything we did this year, and I had to double check the date several times. Oh my god, that was this year? It feels like ages ago.

Apparently, we had a good year. No. We had a great year. It was full of love, laughter, adventures, vacation, friends, and family. I also worked a lot. 

I remember that my New Year's Resolution for 2015 was to make my first quilt. I think I've made 9 now. Holy crap! The first one I made was for my best friend who had brain surgery in January. This was the first time I've ever used a sewing machine. It's also probably my best quilt because I followed the process strictly. I've learned how to cut corners since then.

This last one I made was a king sized one for my mom, who's been complaining all year that she doesn't have one yet. This bad boy was hard to fit through my tiny sewing machine. I almost cried when it was finished.

In March, we took Trinity to California for her fourth birthday and to meet her Auntie Rooms for the first time. She was a fantastic traveler, and had a birthday celebration my four year old self was jealous of. We went to the San Diego Zoo, Knott's Berry Farm, Oceanside, and Disneyland for dinner.

                                                   

 She's lucky enough to have her birthday over Spring Break, so for her 5th birthday, we're going to Cabo! Her Passport photo is amazing. My little criminal.

Both Trav and I traveled a lot for work this year. We're lucky that my parents are around for added support when one or both of us can't be there. I'm always wondering what type of example I'm setting for her. It's either that hard work pays off, and sometimes in order for us to have all the things we do, Mommy has to be gone for a couple days, or sign in to her computer in the evenings. She sees that I have a life separate from her and Daddy, and that's OK. Or, she sees me working all the time and thinks, I don't want to be the type of mom that works all the time. Perhaps I'm driving her to yearn for the life of a homemaker. Only time will tell I suppose, although not too long ago she admitted, "I don't want to be anything when I grow up." My bet is that she doesn't work a day in her life. 

I finally broke down and hired housekeepers. They are expensive and worth every penny. I also wonder what this teaches Trinity. Either that if you work hard, you can have nice things, like maids. Or it's teaching her that she doesn't have to clean because maids will do it for her. Whenever I tell her we need to clean up, she asks, "Why, are the maids coming?" The other day she asked me to make her bed. "Mommy, pretend you're a maid." I am ruining this child. Truthfully, I just like my toilet paper folded pretty. 

Trinity's dance pictures came in this year! Here's a summation about how she feels toward dance:

This one's a little bit better. Maybe she just wasn't super into tap. Hip hop might be more her thing. Either way, we didn't sign up again this year. Maybe next. 

Trinity is in Pre-K this year, and I cannot say enough good things about her teacher. She is kind, patient, caring, and just really good at what she does. There are only 7 kids in her class, which is helpful as well. Just recently, her teacher pulled me aside and asked if I had a moment to speak with her. The immediate 'oh shit' thoughts when through my head. What did Trinity say? Did she curse? Did she make it sound like she's abused in some way? Did she do something violent? Her teacher then asked if I was aware of Trinity's reading skills. Oh thank goodness! Yes, I know she can read. Apparently she's finally doing this in front of people. I stopped letting anyone know, because then she wouldn't do it and I would look like an idiot. Her teacher now sends special assignments home for her to complete. I thought it was so refreshing and amazing for a teacher to care about that enough to go through the effort of doing something extra, and not just counting her as a kid she didn't have to worry about. Yay for good teachers!

Not sure if you guys were aware, but I turned 30 this year. OMG. This seems impossible, but yet, it happened. I love my birthday, but I was dreading it all year. I realized that it's because my 20s were amazing. I graduated college, got a job, got married, bought a house, had a baby, got another job, bought another house. I did all the life things that people do. I won the Game of Life. What happens now?

I'll tell you what happens now. We drink.

On my birthday, my fabulous husband surprised me with a trip to Cancun. I've been wanting to go on vacation FOREVER, and he made it happen. I didn't know this yet, but all my friends would be waiting there to surprise me. He had been working for months to make sure everyone would  be there, and even talked to my work to make sure I was cool to take the time off. It was literally everything I could have wanted, and more. I was on top of the world. 

The very next day, everything changed. That's how it goes, right? That's all it takes. One day. One moment. One phone call. We had all the Christmas decorations out, getting the house ready for the holidays, since in a few days we'd be on a plane to Mexico. Travis got a call, or a text, or both, that his brother Tommy (older than Trav by 10 months) was injured on Mt. Jefferson, and Search and Rescue had been called. From there, we just stopped. We just sat there and waited by the phone for more updates. Travis didn't know where they were, but he was determined to go find them himself. We both knew there was no way he was suddenly going to climb a mountain at 5pm on a Sunday, but it felt more productive than just waiting for the phone to ring. We packed the car and waited. As soon as we found out what hospital he was going to, we were leaving. I called my mom for her to come stay with Trinity, so when we got the call, we could leave right away. 

16 agonizing hours later, we got the call. The voice on the other end said four words. Tommy didn't make it. I tried to change those words around a million times so that they meant something else. That's what I do. I manipulate words until they sound just right. Nothing I do can ever make those four words make any sense. 

Maybe it was because we had so far to fall. Maybe we were leading too charmed a life. Maybe the universe had to take something back, to make us appreciate it more. Maybe it was just a tragic, freak accident. Either way, life is now split into a Before and After of sorts, and nothing on either side makes much sense. My life is the same, but everything is different.

 Six days later, we went to Cancun. Because what else could we do? As much as you hate to admit it, life keeps going. You wake up in the morning, and you have to do something to fill the time until you go to bed at night. What better way than white sand and beautiful blue waters with the people you love the most? It wasn't the trip we were supposed to have (or maybe it was?), but it was a good escape and we managed to make some great memories. Thank you to everyone who deceived me for months to make this trip possible!

If this year's taught me anything, it's that life can change in an instant. In 2016, I plan to focus on what's important. First, being the best version of myself possible. That includes being more patient with Trinity, working out every morning, spending more time being present with family, and less time focusing on work and my phone (dont worry work, I wont slack too much ;)). 

I hope this finds everyone happy and healthy. Here's to 2016!