Cue the mommy guilt! If it had a theme song, it would be playing nonstop in my head for the next 48 hours. The good news: I got a job! The bad news: I have to go back to work. For the last two months, Trinity and I have been together almost every waking moment. I can officially say without a doubt that I am her most favorite person in the world (I know, barf). And I'm leaving her. For money. Ugh it sounds so horrible! I know it's what's best for the family and all that crap. I mean, what's the purpose of making her a baby genius if I can't pay for college? But I feel like I'm abandoning her. It's hard because she's progressing so fast right now and she's so much fun. In the last week or so she has started pulling herself up to stand (and fall). She's learning new words and can say "momma" and "dada" when cued. She has the wackiest sense of humor, but I feel I understand her better than I do most adults. In short, I'm having more fun than I ever thought possible. This time has gone by much too fast.
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| Trinity's First Snow! 1/15/12 |
I'm thankful she'll be left in the competent hands of my mother, who is excited to take care of her and loves her almost as much as I do. Hopefully she doesn't die in the death trap that is my parents' house. All day she'll have to navigate their sunken living rooms and two different treacherous fireplaces surrounded by rocks and bricks. Last time I was there we realized she can fit through the spaces between the banisters on the second floor. I've got a good feeling about this.... :/
During this time with her, I did a total mom thing. I made a tutu. Trinity has her 1-year-old pictures coming up pretty soon and I thought it would be cute if she had a tutu. There are a ton of mommys online who make them and are trying to sell them for ridiculous prices. I'm the least craftiest person in the world, but I figured since you can make them without a sewing machine, I would give it a shot. I had to swallow my anxiety and get over my fear of Jo-Ann Fabrics so I could buy some tulle. I wandered around aimlessly for a while, but then realized that I wouldn't even know what tulle would look like if I was standing in front of it, so I broke down and asked. There was a wall of tulle. One shelf each of shiny, dull, and sparkly. Which one did I choose? Ummmm sparkly of course. Did I look at the price? No. Because really, how much can tulle cost? So I choose three different colors and ask for five yards of each. 15 yards. As the lady is cutting the first five yards, another employee comes over and remarks that the sparkly tulle is sooo cute...if only it weren't so expensive. Wait, what? hold on!! How much is the tulle? Oh, $6 a yard? So, 6 x 15 = .... $90... NINETY DOLLARS!!! STOP! I know it's my responsibility, but you'd think the cutting lady would ask me if I really wanted $90 worth of tulle. Because no one wants $90 worth of tulle. So I take the sparkly, diamond-encrusted tulle and put it back on the shelf and then decide I will settle for the shiny tulle instead. Well, as I'm looking through the shiny tulle, the ENTIRE shelf of sparkly tulle falls out into the aisle. One by one. Like a slow clap. As if I'm not embarrassed enough by the exchange I just had with the employees. So after looking around to see if there are any witnesses (of course there are), I start picking up the fallen tulle and restocking it on the shelf. When I'm done, I'm completely covered in glitter. When I blink, I can see it on my eyelashes. The universe knows I don't belong in fabric stores and is punishing me for even trying. It takes forever but I decide on four colors and get three yards of each. It still ends up being $20-ish dollars, but I just want to get the hell out of there. As I leave the parking lot, I realize that the prices online really aren't that ridiculous and I should have just ordered one. But no, my little girl is going to have the best damn homemade tutu you've ever seen! I even bought glitter spray so it would be sparkly. Suck it, Universe! After what seemed like years of cutting strips of tulle, putting color combinations together, tying and retying those strips on the elastic band, my tutu is finished. I somehow ended up making it way too big and poofy for a 1-year-old. The thing fits me. But she's going to wear it for these pictures, and she's going to love it!!
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| Poor kid. You can run but you can't hide. |
While I've been on 24-hour mommy duty, Travis has gotten a reprieve. It's rare that she wakes up in the night, but when she's teething it becomes a common occurrence. Travis has been able to sleep blissfully through all of these midnight screamings. He's gone for long stretches of time without changing a poopy diaper. I've tried to get him back into the groove of things this week, because starting next week, it's a 50/50 partnership once more. While he's been not changing poopy diapers, she's been getting stronger and more mobile. She tries her hardest to roll off the changing table, and/or sit up while she's being changed. She can somehow barrel roll while you're hanging onto both of her ankles. It can get dangerous and messy if you're not careful. The other night I decide it's Trav's turn to change a diaper that's sure to be a doozy. Soon enough, I hear screams and shrieks of terror, and they're not coming from the baby. After the cries of help I venture in to see what has happened, and I find this:
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| Daddy is out of practice. |
My poor baby. Apparently, Trinity grabbed the poop diaper and wiped the shit all over herself while (gasp!) not holding completely still for him to wipe. Poop was everywhere so Trav had to extract her from the changing table and still try to clean her. If you look, you can see that they're making the same face. His is one of determination, and I think hers is just pure satisfaction with herself. Cracks me up every time! Look at that head! It's now in the 95th percentile. My little lollipop.
I'm sure going to miss her.
