Welcoming Trinity Leanne

I meant to start one of these almost a year ago, upon the life-altering news that two would now be three. But then we decided not to tell anyone until after I was three months along. At that point I felt like I might be jinxing myself to write about a process with no guarantee of a happy ending, so I decided to save it until after her birth. Yeah right, like I was going to give birth and then magically have the time and energy to write coherently about it. Not happening. So now she's three months old.

Welcome to the world Sweetheart. By now you know that it's a cold, sometimes frustrating place, where you often end up sitting in a crap pile of your own creation. She doesn't seem to mind though. This baby is all smiles all the time. Today my mom told me that Trinity is the best baby she's ever met. Wow, thanks Mom. Looks like T has replaced me as her favorite. I don't mind. I had a good run.

To make a long story short, here is our last year in a nutshell:
It's August. I'm freaked out because I cant sleep. I just lay there awake all night for a week straight. My boobs hurt. I'm late but don't think much about it because I was on antibiotics, which I knew would screw things up. We have several weddings to go to, one of which I've already been to and had some wine (oops!). I call Travis on his way home from work and tell him to pick up a pregnancy test, mostly because I'm too scared and immature to buy one myself. He says, "But there's no way you're pregnant, right?" "Right." I tell him. So he buys two. And a bottle of wine to celebrate the fact that I'm not pregnant. Ha. Well, needless to say, that night ends with "HOLY F*#% $&*$^!."

10 Weeks: The thought of food makes me want to die. Weird things make me puke, like looking in the refrigerator or going in a grocery store.
11 Weeks: First midwife appointment. We confirm that I am indeed expecting, something that I was still sort of in denial about. They can't really establish a due date since I have no freaking clue when this happened. We decide May 1 sounds good.
19 Weeks: It's a girl!! Holy crap we thought it was a boy!
32 Weeks: Second ultrasound. Estimated baby weight is 6 lbs 11 oz. What?! They determine there's no way I'll make it until May 1. Something I had already figured out. My new due date is April 19. So it's actually 34 weeks.
35 Weeks: I am in pain every second of every day. I can't sit, stand, lay down, walk, drive. Oh god the driving. I am not a crier but driving brought me to tears.
36 Weeks: This picture was taken about 6 hours before my water broke. 36 weeks exactly.

A nurse at the hospital told me that I looked like a Magic Bullet. Let me just say that when your water breaks, it is nothing like what you see in the movies. There is no splash. It's more like a slow trickle, so you're not sure what's really happening. Am I peeing myself? Maybe. Is this some other weird pregnancy side effect? Probably. So I am preparing to go to work like normal. Travis decided to call the hospital and explain what was happening, mostly because I was again too scared and immature to do so myself. What would I say? Hi, I'm leaking?! Hell no, I was not going to do that. They tell us to come in. It's go time.

I refuse the pitocin, which is later forced on me after I'd been there for almost 12 hours and still felt fine. At 12:33 am on 3/23, Trinity (whose name means 3) is finally here. I am proud to say her birth was drug free, which had been my goal the whole time, but man I was afraid of caving at the last minute in the trenches. For those of you who've never done it, giving birth will blow your mind. It's intense. If I had to do it over again, I might get some pain killer. Not for the birth, but for the little sewing project my midwife decided to start almost immediately after a 6-pound human came out of me. I squirm still thinking about it. But we finally had her with us, and she was healthy and strong. She surprised us at every turn, but I can't imagine anything being any different now. I couldn't have hand-picked a more perfect baby.

A nurse took this right after she was born. I remember protesting, knowing I looked like I had been run over and drug for several yards by a large truck, but now I'm thankful it exists. Thank you, wise nurse. That's when real life began.